Recovering time.

Life as a teenager can only be considered easy by those who haven’t gone through it yet or those who have and have forgotten about it. Because, although teenagers don’t have as many responsibilities as adults do at home, they have just as many, if not more, when it comes to the decisions that are theirs to make for the first time in their lives, the consequences of which are worth some serious consideration, as they will affect their long-term future. 

I am 17 years old and I’ve experienced failure, loneliness, regret, insecurity, uncertainty, pain, numbness and a strong will to contribute to the progress of humanity, all within a year. I am not a kid anymore but I am not an adult either –they won’t let me be one just yet. As if this weren’t enough, there’s also this constant buzz that prevents me from listening to what I have always been told. I’ve started wondering instead, I’ve tried to find my own explanations to every phenomenon. I honestly think I am capable of figuring out how a part of my surroundings work, at the very least. After all, one can’t be that stupid!
 

At this age, you suddenly find freedom in being alone in your choices, which is actually pretty scary given that it is the first time you experience it and the first time you are allowed to make choices, too. You’ve always been told what to do and how to do it, your ability to decide has always been questioned, so you are lost now, left alone without a guide. As a result, things have begun to fall apart. And even though you know there are people who you can rely on, it’s still you up against the world.

Besides, you didn’t use to have a voice or any kind of influence on others as a child except at Christmas when Santa would bring you exactly what you had been asking for. But then again, you were living a lie… Hiding the truth from someone only makes it worse when they find out, like when they told you granny had gone on an everlasting journey and you believed she had chosen to abandon you and got really mad, reaction that turned into a deep sadness the moment when you became aware of what had truly happened. Yet adults don’t seem to understand. They would choose to be told a lie rather than an upsetting fact. I personally believe this is due to something that’s being fed from an early age. Our parents do their best for us to remain ignorant until reality explodes in our face, and the time each one of us needs to recover from it, that’s what’s commonly known as adolescence. How do I know? Well, I’m still recovering.